by Diane Shelton, MA, LCPC, founder of Follow Your Instinct

America’s economic crisis is affecting libraries and librarians in disparate and challenging ways.  This article addresses several common situations and recommends techniques and resources to assist.

Patrons in Emotional Crisis

Every day across America, shell-shocked patrons are walking into their local library asking for help to deal with the often destructive effects of the recent economic climate.  Patrons are presenting in tears, desperate to be told how and where they will find answers to ease their pain.  Spouses are fighting, each blaming the other for the misfortunes that have befallen them. People displaced from housing (perhaps for the first time) are increasingly using the local library as a place to spend their waking hours, straining the physical resources and raising a new level of safety concerns.

So how do librarians help them and cope? Obviously the very competent skills of each of you allow you to direct them toward the diverse career, financial, and technology resources that exist in your holdings and programming. But how do you address their emotional needs, particularly when there are so many more patrons, and the needs are often so heartbreaking and acute? How do you cope with what may be similar fears or challenges in your own life, and keep those factors from negatively influencing how you help your patrons?

Library staff members will benefit if they understand that most patrons who come into libraries today looking for financial/career resources, are scared, feeling powerless, likely in some stage of grief, and often experiencing great shame. The more librarians understand the psychology behind those emotions and learn some tools to manage that distress, the more effective they will be for patrons, while also supporting their own emotional health.

Loss of a job or financial and housing security strikes at the heart of a person’s self-esteem, sense of competency, and hope for the future.  They lose elements of their communities, identity, structure, purpose, and roles.  Understanding the stages of grief helps to normalize and encourage the healthy expression of the accompanying feelings. The need to fully mourn and to seek the “life messages” in this time of transition are well addressed at these sites:

• http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/FY878; http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/impact-of-job-loss-faq.htm
• http://www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/familydevelopment/components/07421d.html
• http://www.mileslehane.com/articles/shame.html
• http://www.wmbridges.com/resources/article-way_through.html

One of the greatest gifts we can offer another person is to listen to them with compassion in a way that they feel heard and understood, while also attending to safety and appropriate boundaries.  Given the emotional fragility of some patrons, speaking with them using “reflexive listening” and “positive language” is important. For examples and excellent suggestions see these sites:

• http://work911.com/cnflict/carticles/poslan.htm
• http://www.huntel.net/rsweetland/cman/verbal/refllistng.html
  

People experiencing job and financial loss are often feeling extreme powerlessness, which is characterized by feelings of “zero control or a sense that one’s actions will have no significant impact on an outcome” (the latter is particularly demoralizing). They generally experience what are known as “cognitive distortions” such as “all or nothing thinking, catastrophizing, minimizing, or filtering” (see http://www.healthymind.com/s-distortions.html)   

In particular, they tend to generalize the lack of power in their job and financial situations to their overall life, and lose perspective over what is still working. From that position, hopelessness and paralysis are often the result.  You will hear it in their word choice, and can assist them by mirroring back what they say while subtlety changing the words – altering “never” to “seldom”, and “always” to “often” or even "sometimes."  You can also encourage patrons to explore the question “where is the evidence for that belief (about them or their situation). Often that will help them to widen their perspective again (what I call “the landscape is larger than you can see” mindset).

Another key remedy to the sense of powerlessness and lack of hope is to reflect on what is and is not in their control – essentially adopting the Serenity Prayer attitude (“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference”).  They can be encouraged to acknowledge that what others – a spouse, child, bank, employer, or government - may or may not do is generally totally out of their control. Yet the good news is that how they approach those events and the work they do to prepare fully is totally within their control.  Asking “what are three actions you can do right now (or put into motion) to improve your situation” will help refocus patrons and allow them to be more positively productive, and hence more hopeful and creative.

“Cognitive reframing” is another technique that assists people to regain perspective, through statements such as “Although it might be tougher for a while, I know that we will get through this economic cycle”, or “Although there are lots of candidates for this job, I did all that I can do, and that is enough”. Both of these statements will inspire hope and increased motivation, rather than despair and paralysis. Sites detailing cognitive reframing techniques and tips are found at:

• http://hprc.stanford.edu/pages/classes/006_stress/step02/05Reframing.asp
• http://www.gulfbend.org/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=15670&cn=117

So, we’ve demonstrated that there are clearly many ways that librarians can assist their patrons with the emotional distress of their current situation.  One other important area is to increase the safety quotient for both patrons and staff. Each library will of course follow their own safety policies and there is no guarantee that a potentially hostile person might not turn violent. However, there are certain behaviors that library staff can take that tend to decrease the likelihood of a situation escalating.  They include the following techniques:

• Give patrons your undivided attention and set expectations up front if you think you will need to shorten your time to help them.
• Be mindful of cultural and personal differences in what is needed for “personal space bubbles” - you can subtly participate in negotiating the ideal distance by slightly approaching and backing away until you both appear to be comfortable.
• Adopt a “non-threatening stance” – body at slight angle to patron, not square on, and hands relaxed at sides in full view.  Be mindful of not demonstrating negative body language or non-verbal cues – for example: crossed arms of irritation or sighs of impatience, which increase a patron’s sense of being unimportant or dismissed.
• Ask permission before you touch a patron in emotional or physical support
• If a patron raises their voice in anger, pitch yours more quietly with a calm response – this helps avoid escalation.. As their volume diminishes, continue to pitch yours below theirs until both are appropriate in volume and tone.
• Never blame, accuse, or criticize and validate their feelings regardless of whether or not you agree. Be appropriate in your words  and approach, and never - ever - take their upset personally; while it may be directed at you, it is not about you (despite what they may claim). Taking it personally means you are emotionally triggered and likely will be unable to stay empathetic and offer useful support and recommendations.
• Don’t dismiss it if your “instinct” is telling you that there is potential danger when dealing with a particular patron. Honor that instinct and at a minimum enlist a second person to assist you in managing that patron’s needs so that you increase the possibilities for a good outcome.

Finally, a useful resource (though nearly 10 years old) is the book “Dealing with Difficult People in the Library”, reviewed at http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=31714, and available at http://www.alastore.ala.org/detail.aspx?ID=339.

Taking Care of Yourself Emotionally While Helping Others

Dealing with people in emotional distress can be draining and discouraging.  Librarians need to manage their own stress and worry in order to be effective for patrons.  Enhancing your support systems is one key, as is developing relaxation, breathing, and meditation routines. These sites provide good ideas:

• http://www.howtodothings.com/business/how-to-build-a-strong-support-system
• http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/meditation/HQ01070
• http://www.umm.edu/sleep/relax_tech.htm

What to Do If Lose Your Own Library Job

Losing your own job is possible, especially for those in the harder-hit specialty library sector. The emotions you experience will likely mirror those of the general population.  Practicing all of the above skills on how to care for oneself in order to help others will be of benefit, as will the skills on how to care for the patrons. Draw on the considerable career and financial resources readily available through your colleagues on how to conduct an effective job search in today’s market. Use this seemingly “bad” event as an opportunity for self-reflection, refocusing, and renewal.

The Future For Libraries Given Today’s Uncertain Economy

The above information hopefully will even better equip each of you to address the emotional needs of your patrons today as well as to manage the economic impact in your own lives.  It is harder to offer clarity regarding what this financial turmoil holds for the near future of libraries. As we hit the mid-point of 2009 and look forward into 2010, it is appears that the economy will be in more of a recovery position, which should bode well personally for library patrons and staff.  However, the anticipation of the impact of reduced property taxes and other revenue streams for libraries is quite pessimistic.

Academic and school libraries are impacted by decreased enrollments and a shift in funding to more critical resources. It is difficult to predict exactly where the stresses and deficits will fall, as we have experienced unprecedented and unforeseen fallout throughout this economic crisis.  The task for library staff members is to maximize their flexibility and their emotional resilience.  In each new challenge, there is the seed of a new beginning and the loss of the old. Embracing that change and walking upright with confidence for yourself and those you help is your mission and opportunity.

Hear Diane speak at the workshop Helping Job Hunters: Recommendations and Resources for Librarians taking place Tuesday, June 16, 2009, 9:00 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. at the Oak Brook Public Library. Register at http://www.librarylearning.info/events/?eventID=6744.

About the Author

Article author is Diane Shelton, MA, LCPC, the founder of Follow Your Instinct. She is a licensed therapist with a private practice in Algonquin, Illinois, providing individual, teen, couple, and family counseling.  She also provides counseling, coaching, and consulting services by telephone and frequently speaks and presents workshops on emotional and motivational topics for the library and other diverse industries throughout the United States.  She can be reached at (847) 594-7447, via email at dishelton@earthlink.net or at http://dianeshelton.com  for speaking, training, coaching, consulting, or counseling services.  She will be presenting a workshop on Meeting the Emotional Needs of Patrons While Caring for Yourself (subset of Helping Job Hunters: Recommendations and Resources for Librarians) at the Oak Brook Library on June 16, 2009. Registration is available at http://www.librarylearning.info/events/?eventID=6744.

Disclaimer: All recommendations and website links in this article are provided for informational purposes only and are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health care; please seek professional care as needed).

Published May 20, 2009 in vol. 3, iss. 10 [View]